I think masculinity is not so much dying, but feels disoriented.

A better framing is: the West has weakened many old masculine roles — provider, protector, builder, father, community leader — without giving boys and men a clear, honorable replacement. That creates drift.

There are real warning signs: men remain far more likely to die by suicide in both the US and UK; England’s 2024 male suicide rate was about 17.1 per 100,000, versus 5.6 for women. Research also links some masculinity norms — especially emotional isolation and “handle it alone” stoicism — with loneliness among men. OECD work now treats loneliness and social connection as major well-being issues affecting health, work, education, and civic life.

But masculinity itself is not the problem. Bad masculinity is: domination, irresponsibility, emotional cowardice, porn-addled passivity, status obsession, contempt for women, refusal to grow up.

Healthy masculinity is still badly needed: strength, restraint, courage, competence, protection, fatherhood, self-command, service, humor, loyalty, and the ability to endure hardship without becoming cruel.

What can be done?

The most effective approach is usually not lectures about masculinity, but creating environments where healthy masculinity becomes attractive, respected, and lived out visibly.

A few things matter a lot:

Give boys meaningful responsibility early

Responsibility matures people faster than moralizing.

Boys often become more grounded when they are genuinely needed:

• coaching younger kids,
• learning trades,
• caring for siblings,
• earning money,
• leading teams,
• helping in crises.

Activities that can promote the masculine mindset

Healthy masculinity grows through:

• sport,
• martial arts,
• outdoor hardship,
• competition,
• physical competence,
• difficult goals.

Not because aggression is good, but because disciplined strength is stabilizing.

Put good men visibly in front of them

Boys imitate what they admire.

If the dominant male archetypes are:

• cynical influencers,
• detached irony,
• hyper-consumerism,
• porn culture,
• status flexing,
  then many will copy that.

They need exposure to men who are:

• competent,
• calm,
• emotionally steady,
• protective,
• ambitious without narcissism,
• respected by peers,
• good fathers and partners.

This is why coaches, teachers, tradesmen, male family members, and community leaders matter so much.

We need to stop framing masculinity itself as suspicious

A lot of boys absorb the message:

“Your instincts are dangerous unless suppressed.”

That creates either shame or rebellion.

Masculine traits are not inherently toxic:

• aggression can become courage,
• competitiveness can become excellence,
• protectiveness can become service,
• stoicism can become resilience.

The goal is channeling, not erasing.

Give men purpose beyond consumption

Modern culture often reduces male identity to:

• entertainment,
• dating success,
• money,
• online status,
• endless self-optimization.

But men tend to thrive when attached to missions larger than themselves:

• family,
• craft,
• community,
• building things,
• protecting people,
• service,
• faith,
• teaching,
• creating institutions.

Without purpose, energy collapses into escapism.

Encourage emotional strength, not emotional suppression

Healthy masculinity is not:

“Repress your emotions”

It is:

“Feel deeply without becoming ruled by emotion.”

Men should be able to:

• talk honestly,
• ask for help,
• process grief,
• love openly,
  while still remaining dependable under pressure.

Emotional literacy and resilience are compatible.

Rebuild male community

A lot of men are isolated.

Historically, men bonded through:

• work,
• religion,
• military service,
• unions,
• clubs,
• local communities,
• sports.

Now many socialize mainly online.

Healthy masculinity is easier to sustain in groups that reward accountability and mutual respect.

One last word:

You cannot shame men into becoming good men.

Men become better through:

• belonging,
• standards,
• admiration,
• discipline,
• mentorship,
• purpose,
• challenge,
• love.

The healthiest societies tend to say two things simultaneously:

1. Men are needed.
2. Men are accountable.

A culture that treats young men as permanently adolescent tends to produce permanent adolescence.

At a personal level: build your body, master a craft, keep promises, reduce porn/doomscrolling, make male friendships around shared effort, learn emotional honesty without self-pity, and become useful to people weaker than you.

At a social level: boys need more male teachers, coaches, mentors, apprenticeships, rites of passage, physical challenge, father involvement, and real responsibility earlier. They also need a culture that says: “Being a good man is demanding, honorable, and necessary.”

So no: masculinity is not dying. But uninitiated, unsupported, purposeless masculinity is failing. The cure is not nostalgia. It is disciplined, pro-social masculinity rebuilt for modern life.